Why...
The omnipresent question. Why am i bad? I know I am. what do you know huh?
i guess(that's all i can do) its gods wish. one of the brighter sides of believing in the Almighty is that whenever anything happens that you think/wish shouldn't have happened, you can blame/leave it to him. (dear friend 'Junior', please read the last sentence ten times.Loudly.)
So, i am bad 'cos he made me that way. Not all children are innocent. Trust me. I wasn't. and I can't be gods only mistake. I tried to change(although half-heartedly). Couldn't... Don't know when i will try again.
The half-hearted attempt was 'cos somewhere i felt convenient with the fact. 'cos 1. i enjoyed more. 2. This way, there'd be very less chance that i get screwed by others. If at all i do get screwed, it'd be the after effect of my own actions. Which, I'll be more with comfortable with. 3. Still i haven't had that 'life-changing' experience that would good-ify me once and for all.
So, due to these reasons and many more that have always hindered the process of my 'soul purification', I still am bad. And will remain so in the near future. This prose will be turned into a kind of poem, if i may call it, in near future.
p.s: if there is something like afterlife, or if the theories of karma and similar things are true, then i think i have put myself in very very deep shit. so deep that and even the last statement could be called optimistic. But on second thoughts, God will save me. He will have to. After all he is the one who made me this way. And if he cant, and indeed if i have an afterlife, please put a bottle of quick acting poison alongside my grave. God bless me, and the rest.
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