Till the storm has passed
I’ll hold you
Once the storm has passed
We’ll love too
On and on the wind rages
Ever hard, never slow, the stages
And when the demons pass
We’ll open the book and bury the pages
Carry you, carry you far away
Out of their fangs
From the sorrows, out of your misery
Out of their reach
Far from the storm that hangs
Never to hurry, never to fear
I’ll hold you forever
Forever my dear
Bring you to the boat
Safe and smiling in my arms
Wading and swimming
Angels protecting in swarms
Carry you, carry you far away
Out of their fangs
From the sorrows, out of your misery
Out of their reach
Far from the storm that hangs
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Hold On
I Will Not
What is that thumping down there?
Would someone bump me down right here?
Spinning and jumping and running around
Missing a word or two as I rhyme
Still not getting the words right
I didn’t run, as they have might
Groaning and moaning, there I sat
Am I an idiot, my brain this fat
I read and held, and said and yelled
Held my nerve, held it
Held the fort, castle was not felled
Angels of rhyme descended upon me
Calm prevailed,
So did i.
When the light and the bad collided
One won, the other faded
Which one it was, your mind is to find
Right or wrong, you can’t leave behind
It is a question that will show
If it is well or the rot will grow
They ran and ran and never looked back
Creepers caught up with them
Crushed them with a crack
I stood and faced and till the end I fought
Did all that what I could, watered the drought
They say the brave win
So did i.
The Crow Fence
He sat in his balcony
Morning it was, raining it was
The blades of grass, twinkling, shining,
With the purest colours, as if
God himself washed them, watched them
He saw a barbed fence
Unconcerned, in the jungle
Discarded and forgotten
And the crows sitting on them
Crowed, shrill and somewhere rotten
A muffled rumble somewhere
And they flew amok
Spots and trails of black
In the morning blue
The crowing slowed down, silencing
Slowing, they disappeared
Into the woods and green, silencing
Friday, September 4, 2009
You Are The One
Sweet as the sweetest sugar, my baby
Standing under the light post
Legs trembling, lips quivering
Your eyes holding mine
Once and for all, forever
And when you held my hand
I felt like god, powerful, satisfied
Nothing to lose, nothing to gain
The timeless comfort of the undying love
Every inch happy, lovingly insane
And the dark surrounding us
Loathed you, hated you, my love
Because you were white as pure
Unblemished darling, child
Of tranquil beauty
God and I were so sure
I Love You
I love you
Heavens know, more
Than anyone can do
Cherry blossomed on a sun swept day
Higher and over you take me away
Smooth as a pebble
Under the stream
Thousands of years
It rolled and reeled
Blackened and soiled with mud
I was sick and not well
You took care. Washed me
Cast to fire and wind
Crafted to a human desire
Thank you lord
Of making you be
‘cos you made me
And let me be
Infinite rays of light will bow
Before the beauty’s eternal glow
And I pray to god with faith and pride
That you never ever leave my side
The Last Question
Is it blood dripping down my nose
I feel warm inside
Am I dying? Am i?
Please don’t lie this one time
Yours eyes, sparkling blue
Staring at mine
Why the glow
Why not the pain
Why the snow
And not the rain
Cold eyes, colder smile
Jokers scrambling around
Dancing the dance of vile
I crawled near the fire
Fleshless bone only I was
Reckless ghosts they were
Why the dance
Why not sorrow
Why the glitters
In the maddening hollow
Spiraling shadows watching me
I tried to push away
Am I still senile?
Or is it just that
You all are dead as I pray.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Black And Bleak
Horrible faces waking me
Fearful white screams
And when i opened
The darkness comforted
I felt weak
Legs moist and crumbling
The road waved and fell
The wood held me, tight.
Objects took wicked shapes
threatening red eyes all had
I fought them
With black and sins.
An annoying sound
Kept coming from beneath
A piece of paper on the floor
Searched all over
And found it.
Nothing is what i did
Couldn't try to stand.
Two shadows from the outside
Peering in
Along with the light
Into the dark room
Crawling sinister shadows
Waiting for the door to open
And sleep faded off
Cloud taken over by the moon.
The Unfamiliar Night
Time before the gallows blow
Some wretched forces pulling me from both ends
Huge, relentless devils
Strange lights and wailing winds
Pounded my senses
I rolled as if knocked
Out of a heavy dark cloud
And the forces changed
Only the direction i felt
I was being tried
To turn to nothing
And the tree began to dry
Parched hot and thirsty.
Strange noises behind
My back i felt
Someone waiting in cold
Waiting in the shadows
Waiting to strike
As i turn around
Showing its terrible face
Smiling on the death i found.
The Great Depression
i had no idea why; nothing bad happened. as a result i had no remedies with me. as i was so depressed to walk, talk or even sit, i lied down for sometime. i never imagined in my wildest of dreams that even lying down could be so depressing one day. i felt as if some wretched force sucked the spirit out of me(wait there you wicked mind, not that spirit.)
then i was forced out of my lovely bed for some drumming practice. it was good. sweet.
depression gone, me home. sweeter.
Friday, July 24, 2009
State-of-the-art
As we are (un)fortunately in our final year, obviously we should get the best. The session has just started and so the only thing i can mention here is the accommodation we got.
The first thing to be noticed here people is that it is as cheap as dirt. rs23500(not to mention the rs50 we had to spend for the magnum opus), for our palatial buildings and suites! What could a person in his lifetime wish for more.
Talking of palaces, our hostels are no less than what the mughals achieved. Supplement it with the state of the art technology used to build it(NASA take notice), and you get the architectural wonder called HOSTEL-6 SARDAR BHAVAN(i can feel Sardar patel smiling.)
State of the art, the word tossed around without proper care. But nothing describes our hostel better. There are so so many things to marvel at, so many things to inspire you.
Starting with the main gate, built in such a way that even Einstein won't be able to figure out if that is indeed a gate. The authorities have taken proper care to build the front and back entrances at strategic places. The only thing is that they have managed to confuse generations of svnitians about which is the front and which the back.
The sprawling gardens and the lawns are another addition to awe you. Lush green grass, hearty birds, and magnificent creatures abound the place. Some stray animals do tend to invade our rooms, but living in svnit does gives you ample knowledge about many of them.
Then comes the kingly suites we've been given. We do not insult it by calling it merely a 'room'. Made for the kings and the kings do live there. Everything inside is so beautifully natural. The natural paintings(can be termed as murals. and the suites numbered 8 have the best.), each suite has got, the subtle planning done to place the accessories, the wonderful adorations on the doors and windows. Everything is so appealing. Each suite has a balcony. And guess what, they've given a plug point even there. Yes yes, i know its just WOW. But again fooling the generations about its purpose. Must be really classified. The best part is that most of us have 24/7 water supply right inside our suites! That would be a goodbye to coolers and water room.
The bathrooms are another sight to behold. They are too grand and to even write about them would be so demeaning of me. But one thing to be noticed is the plants they've grown right inside them. To give a natural feel while attending the nature's call. Also i do have to mention the permanent supply of water at each and every nook and corner of our hostel. Stand anywhere and water will fall right into your mouth. The hostel inmates are known to forget the feeling of thirst.
Thank you hostel section, for blessing us with the best thing that could've happened to us. Salutes to you.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Unfunny me
A friend suggested that i should stop writing the serious and vaguely philosophical stuff and start writing something funny, something light.
but i'll have to give the thought a miss 1.'cos i'm way too behind with the contemporary scenario of humour. i don't want to write anything with my terribly outdated sense of humour.
2. 'cos i write what i feel; most of the times i should say. and currently i don't feel anything that is remotely funny in any way.
So, to the delight of the readers who never were, i shall continue with my thoughts and insignificant philosophical insights from the perspectives of me, god and sometimes a dog.
A Small Life
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
First night of the end
most of the time was "comfortably numb" (thank you floyd, for coining the best term ever). so had not so much of an idea about the time. but did feel something was wrong. someplace, somewhere. let it be.
and about being optimistic, i am not that or its antonym. i am neutral. anyways most optimists do nothing but to lie to themselves. just for the sake of it. good for them. not good enough for me.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Confession
Borat
Warning:Rated R for pervasive strong crude and sexual content including graphic nudity, and language.
Friday, July 10, 2009
mr. murphy's excuse
My appointment with the Maker
hold it for gods sake.
I WENT TO A TEMPLE TODAY.
kaboooommmm...
no no, i m not an atheist. i do believe in the Almighty; with all my tiny little heart i have. and i do go to temples, although the frequency can be neglected.
earlier i was a non-believer. thought it was cool. many people still do. then i started believing, thanks to my one and only. but still didn't like going to the temple. thought, god is everywhere right? in every tangible material, the walls, the wind; outside us, inside us. then what is the need! yes,yes, the coolness factor yet again. but then, again due to the commendable efforts from the one and only(yet again), i realised the comfort, calmness, serenity found in such places.
yes, but the point that must be noted here is that that the places should be calm in itself. i don't find any reason in going to all those crowdy places, having one minute glimpse at the deity and then being pushed around. feels more like friday night ticket counter. hustling for a glimpse of god? architectural and sculptural beauties are different story altogheter. and secondly, a big No to all those bathroom tiled temples thrown around like Christmas toffees. commercial worship should explain the phenomenon.
another point worth noticing here is that, in case of crowded temples, you may dislike the bustle and wait; but whenever, after a certain wait, you actually get your official chance to pray in front of the idol, you never get enough of it. "just a little bit more" you think when a eager devotee right behind you exercises his right for the one-on-one. just a little...that happened to me. yet again.sigh.
May god show the light to us all.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I am 'Not Good'
The omnipresent question. Why am i bad? I know I am. what do you know huh?
i guess(that's all i can do) its gods wish. one of the brighter sides of believing in the Almighty is that whenever anything happens that you think/wish shouldn't have happened, you can blame/leave it to him. (dear friend 'Junior', please read the last sentence ten times.Loudly.)
So, i am bad 'cos he made me that way. Not all children are innocent. Trust me. I wasn't. and I can't be gods only mistake. I tried to change(although half-heartedly). Couldn't... Don't know when i will try again.
The half-hearted attempt was 'cos somewhere i felt convenient with the fact. 'cos 1. i enjoyed more. 2. This way, there'd be very less chance that i get screwed by others. If at all i do get screwed, it'd be the after effect of my own actions. Which, I'll be more with comfortable with. 3. Still i haven't had that 'life-changing' experience that would good-ify me once and for all.
So, due to these reasons and many more that have always hindered the process of my 'soul purification', I still am bad. And will remain so in the near future. This prose will be turned into a kind of poem, if i may call it, in near future.
p.s: if there is something like afterlife, or if the theories of karma and similar things are true, then i think i have put myself in very very deep shit. so deep that and even the last statement could be called optimistic. But on second thoughts, God will save me. He will have to. After all he is the one who made me this way. And if he cant, and indeed if i have an afterlife, please put a bottle of quick acting poison alongside my grave. God bless me, and the rest.
Monday, July 6, 2009
To all
What on heavens Mr. Nikhil…don’t you know, not a soul visits this place except for you and some of the people whom you keep nagging to come here. Who come, out of friendship, curiosity and after sometime, undisclosed pity.
Yes I know…but I got to do what I got to do. Firstly because its so satisfying. Secondly as my good friend once said “writing is IN”.
Confessing that I may shout and announce that I write only for me and I don’t care if someone is reading or not, deep down inside I wish I get a comment or two…
Someone telling their views, someone asking the meaning. I wish. So here I am writing for me…and I shall try to open what I have…. for all the readers who never were…
The Unholy Scholar
I heard some bells chiming
Was it eight or was it nine
I don’t know
Goodness gracious heavens
The customary thought
I am late by an hour or so…
But I still lie there
Studying the ceiling
Glancing around, shutting out the light
Thinking hard if its worth it or not
Thinking hard if I was asleep or not…
Feeling my load of indulgence
Is about to sink
All doors closed, my options
None I think…
I drift on
Half asleep and half naked
I drift on through
The labyrinths of heaven…
By the time a hungry mongrel
Eats up his morning loaf
Geared up and laden
Into the depths of certain
Uncertainty we set off…
Sitting there grazing
Like flock of sheep
Herded to bleak surrender
Facing a mountain high and steep
Sun shone fiercely
With ample light
Still it was dark…
Dark as hell in the night
Eyelids half closed
And minds fully so, we stare
At the preachers of gods
How to reach the zenith up there…
Sacred holy chants passing
Unobstructed from ear to ear
Not stirring the mind
Nothing it could hear…
Last night’s beautiful poison
Still in our bloods
Our instincts and misty minds
We have only known
Blasphemous as ever we’ve grown
Never to change, never to atone
Murdering time we sit there…
No more of it today
Bounds and walls broken
Worn and wilted, we swear
Leaving the foolish puppet
To face the wrath,
We ourselves pronounce
Our independence,
The shower of freedom
Pouring, we bathe…
After a time that felt like eternity
We set sail…
To joy wonder and serenity
Eyes wide open
Proud in our steps
Trailing the heady smoke
The water and the unknown
Blasphemous as hell we’ve grown
Never to change, never to atone…
Rolling Heaven
Up on the ocean, in the air
He was floating…
Forgetting the angst
True,he thought
The world does keeps spinning…
Once upon a time
In the good old days,
When the liquid ruled
And others stood by,
The boy tried burning the coal
Up with the flames
Went his expectations…
The land still barren…
But his pocket dry and broken
He swore
No more piped lunacy,ever again
Then one fine morning,
In the sea,drifting
The wind and water
Lifting him high,
Sn isle upon which he stumbled
Covered with something
Lush, muddy grass it was
His anchor fumbled…
A man with braces
Was passing by…
Said he,come boy
Its where the gods dance…
The more grass we cut together
Finer gets the warmth
And the weather
As the smoke watered his eyes
And the room became murky
The skies cleared up,
The water too…
Clear became everything,
Everything he knew…
Try it on a comatose man, said they
With gods grace.
The man’s eyes lit up
With the flames
His numb mind began to crawl
Though a little lame
Next time,his lips
Parted on their own
Said everyone,let him
Have it if he should…
The next moment, the man
Lay frozen again
Said everyone,poor thing
Took more than he could, should…
Lo behold! the stuff is blessed,said both
The boy and the braced man,
Didn’t take a break…
Just as the holy water
Embraced copiously
By the namesake…
Darker your mind is
Lesser you regret
Heavier the thing is,
Lighter you get…
Lighter you are
The more you fly,
More you fly
Less you can lie…
It’s a miracle, that god has set
Shot up in flames
And burnt to ashes
Its as merry as you can get…
Realise
The last remaining steps
Getting hastily out
Of unfathomable depths…
Was too choking up there
The smell, the sight,
The lowliness, the fight…
He had dreamt
Of the peaks those days
He had heard
Myths and stories…
Seen fleeting glimpses
Of grinning teeth
And heard distant sounds
Unreal, frenetic laughter,
More or so it seemed…
And so he wanted
To reach up ahead…
Up up and above
Every waking hour
Choosing the wheels
Of that grim, harsh realization…
As the seed thrived
Into an oak tree,
The man first smelt
The killing spree…
A rose and a dagger
Everyone carried,he saw
Using them alternatively
With the falling bodies,
Their smiles did grow…
The laughter was maddening,
The silence, saddening
The grins became cacophony
How he hated
Power lust and money…
The snake turned and slithered
Up for the final blow…
It was too late
By the time he could know
He had a rose in a hand.
And blade through his chest
Truth shining bright,
His eyes darkening the rest…
Realizing everything,
He ran for his life…
Burst and gone
Was his bubble of strife…
The wound was healed,
Scarred memories stood there…
Though,dusk had broken,
Only the night remained.
With the birth of a child, blooming of a flower, there is hope…even when spouses cheat and people fight there is hope!! It is everywhere, showing itself in some concealed way… or just waiting to be seen. When I write, I hope it is true. When you read you hope it is worth it. If not, you hope I never write again.
Whispering Echoes
The red ship
Appeared on the horizon…
Like the morning sun sneaking out
It came out, big and stout..
It steered its way through.
Leaving a trail
Its body and crew
Hearty, hosting the sail…
Without them,the ship wont move
They had a merry time
With wine and song
But it was to be there
For not so long…
after twenty days and a night less
Another ship, it came upon
Its captain, gods must bless…
For he was too good to be true,
So well, the captains got along
For their hearts were pure
And minds alike
Comrades they became
Everyone they would allure
But one morning, the redmen said,
O captain, you are good
And we love you
But those shipmen are too nice to be true
We have our reasons and we tell you this
War with them and sail away
Or we will leave this ship as it is…
The captain had nowhere to go,
The only door open was by the people
He could not lay low…
With a heavy heart,
He listened word by word
Cut every thread
With the edge of his sword…
Unable to face his comrade,
He turned his ship
Unable to face the betrayed
S tear did drip…
Their own ways, they carried on…
Not even able to explain intent
The red captain carried
The burden all along…
Swore not to befriend a captain
Whatever may go wrong …
The other captain, confused, hating
Loathing, became indifferent
Maybe if told, he may understand
Maybe not
The red ship disappeared with the burden
Like dust in the sand.
Mother’s Final Word
For “go green’.
I am the water and the sand
I am the one who dwells
In the oceans and on infinite land…
I am everything
that god ever made
I am the dust, the life strand
I am the animal
Under my shade
I am everything
That you ever knew
I am everything, except you…
Together, we once were
You were me, our souls one
Now no more…
Mine bleeds,you have none
You cut me deep
You hunt me down
Making ripples in quicksand
As you drown…
You have poisoned me
Veins have clogged
The leeway you were traveling
You yourself have fogged
Lovely my skin once was
Magnificent as magnificent can be
But as you destroy everything
Everything, me, wide and profane
Stripping me naked
Nothing will be left
Only my anguish
And bloody scars remain…
Sans shores, sans clear starry skies
Sans floating isles
And all the imagination that flies
Forgetting your limits, and your role
You dig your grave
In the concrete hole…
Either you think
You thought of everything
Or you don’t heed
The future of lives you bring
Either way sympathetically foolish
Not the way I had imagined
Not the way in my dreams I’d wish…
Greedy and reckless
You want a shortcut
Finder a quicker path to the veiled end
Falling apart as you strut…
Assuming you can do anything
Defeat me, with everything you have
Forgetting that I am everything
Everything you see, you ever knew
Everything, but now, except you.
Lost…And Found.
My fate hardened face
I lay upon the naked floor,
Cold, with a naked soul…
Tides of thoughts
Hit my consciousness,
Overpowered the will I had…
Overwhelmed the strength I had…
And I shut my eyes
Held it as tight as I could
Fearing that the strength,
The remaining, would escape…
I felt down my neck,
I’d cry and fear…
Lost, maybe I would…
Then the wind,
Broke the draining silence…
Raindrops slapped my face
And as they pricked,
My skin and soul,
I opened everything
And lay awake...
I gained some will
But still trembled...
I felt wet again
Right down my neck, yet again…
It wasn’t steely cold
As the rain…
It was warm
I felt it trickle…
I was cryin
And it was the tear…
Not of the uncertainty or fear
Or of the burden
I couldn’t bear…
Although pouring,
They all had started to sear…
All ‘cos of the feeling,
That the end
Of my spirit is not near…
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
RIP
Amen.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Understand
Why do you shine upon me?
To warm me
Or to dry me?
The sun smiled,
He had nothing to lose
Its fire,
The river cannot douse
He thought to himself,
I try
I try to warm the river,
Warm the water
And warm its soul
And still it is doubting me
This is unfair.
The mountain asked the sun
Why do you shine upon me?
To warm me
Or to reduce me to ashes?
The sun smiled
He had nothing to fear
Its altitude,
The mountain can never bear...
He said to himself,
I burn
I burn to warm the mountain
Warm the soil
And warm its soul,
And still it is doubting me
This is unfair.
It had been decided
Sun would be vast
And brightest,
But he was not amused
To the slightest,
He fought.
For the river to be as long
And winding,
Fr the mountain to be as high
And soaring,
But they thought he was fighting
For himself,
To be brighter
Not trusting him
Distancing him,
And in the end
Every was out in the cold
'Cos the sun was too far.
Alone and smiling
He was misunderstood,
He had done all
That he could
Sad, yet smiling
Hoping that it would end soon,
Hoping that there would be some stars
And a moon.
Another Mundane Day
Dreaming about the things
That could be,
About the smoked out minds
That wont change,
About the lowly life that exists
Pathetic silly and strange
And now i am seeing...
Seeing the facts
That are, and that will be
Or will they?
The empty faces
And the empty souls,
The packed spaces
And only the smiling dolls
Now i am wishing...
Wishing the wishes
The smouldering ashes
Shall rise again,
The hidden stashes
Will be cleaned again,
And the storm will cease
Like it never was
And now i try to dream
Again...
The same dream
That could be.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Curtainfall
The sound of the ragged bell
Chiming away under the spotlight
Of the midnight moon
I hear the dawn breaking
So early
I hear the sun flaming
So early
And hear a man
Walkin down the causeway
Taking his last steps on the horizon
So early..
Is it you there??
I try to hear..
And all i hear
Is myself...
I see
I see something
The stars playing the merry song
For the last time
Under the light of eternity
I see the sunlit darkness
So early
I see the the worlds madness
So early
And i see a man
Walkin down the causeway
Taking his last steps on the horizon
So early..
Is it you there??
I try to see..
And all i see
Is myself...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Not Another Swan Song
Soothing my nerves
Resting my fears..
Hope is what i have
And hope is what i will have..
Now,today and forever
That there wont be no hate
Neither now
Nor ever..
So love every creation,
For the world is one..
As for darkness,
Be the sun..
This light is covering my body
Showering my soul..
How can anyone lose hope
In this lovely bowl..
People may be strange
And they can be vain..
But maybe its not them
But you need a change..
So trust is what i have
And trust is what i wont lose
Not today nor ever..
And i will change not them
If thats what my friends choose..
So love every woman
And love every man
Trust every person
Like an innocent swan...
Love every moment
For life is one..
As for hatred,
There shall be none...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Soul Blindfolded
Dull is the sunshine
And maybe the moonlight..
In the abyss of uncertainty i fall
Uncertain if i am falling or not..
I dont want to rely on god
I cant,i wont..
'Cos i'm uncertain,
If there is god or not..
I do not know of love,
Nor of grief..
Neither of pain,
Nor of relief..
Is there a feeling,
I do not know..
Is my soul numb,
Or is it just the snow..
This shroud of uncertainty
Is crushing my spirit..
Threatening my soul,
Testing my limit..
I cant take it anymore..i cant..
Because i do not know
How uncertain i am..
Uncertain,
Of the uncertainty i have...
Sleep or Die Happily
Hope of relieving this pain..
A slumber is what i need
To stop myself from going insane..
How it feels to be alone
How it feels to be lonely..
As lonely
As a tear in the pouring rain..
I am nothing to anyone,
Not a person,not a soul..
I thought i was something
And i wish i be something..
But he had other plans i guess
To keep me away
From joy and bliss..
And if he has his way,
He'd lead me to heaven in a jiff..
But sometimes i do wonder
Why is it so??
I never wronged anyone
And maybe never will..
But still..
Maybe nobody understands me
And maybe nobody ever will..
But maybe nobody ever should..
People tell me,be pragmatic..
But how could i be,
When life was a dream..
And now that i am awake,
Its difficult..
It is easier
For me to go lunatic..
Never expect..never ever
The biggest mistake of my life..
Everyone comes into this world alone
But everyone dont end it that way..
But i am one of the few
Who will lead rest of their lives
That very lonely way..
Each and every day..
And maybe a day more..
Sanguine Dog
The world is going crazy,
All confused,veiled and hazy
For some,life is a piece of trash,
Piece of cake
Wasting it,
Like its a fake
Cant they show some humanity for hypocrisy's sake?
But there is still hope
People will live life
Like its meant to be,
People will love life
For which it is made to be
They will be rational,and maybe humane
And they wont live life
Like its mundane.
Maybe people wont be selfish
And trust wont simply remain a word,
Maybe people wont be fake anymore
And they wont hurt or even use anyone,
And maybe they will understand
That its a human in front of them
Not a log of wood,to burn
And warm their own so
Hoping that there will be some hope.
Deserted Dog
Alone as the moon in the lonely sky
Why am i alone,
Nobody knows
I thought i had love,
But like a dream
It goes..
I thought i could conquer the world with it,
Conquer the mind and the spirit
But it went away,
Like some raindrops in the middle of the sea
And with it,
Maybe even my shadow deserted me
Alone,in this sunlit darkness i live
This misery,
This agony i feel
Under this sudden,terrible emptiness i reel
If i could make a wish,
I'd wish for an angel
If i dont deserve it,
Even a ghost will do
But the ghost,like it
Should not desert me too
Cant sleep,cant remain awake
Cant breath,cant talk
Cant live, cant drop
I dont know,what is there left
In this world i can hope,
Learn and never love someone
Who doesn't loves you back
You'll be like a stone,
Even your soul will crack
But i dont want to be lonely
I dont want to live alone
I dont want to die alone
I'll have to think..all alone.